I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
