She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
