dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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