At least make sure they are 18
Why
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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