He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
