now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
