Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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