If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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