Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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