i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
