I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
