im holly from the hills drunk
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize