DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
