Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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