a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
