i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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