she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You left your phone here
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