she was so not down for the gang bang
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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