I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize