All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
