am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I don't deserve a penis
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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