she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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