I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
