honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize