Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
