Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize