i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
