sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize