Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
