He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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