If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize