I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
