She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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