i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
