Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
