Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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