totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
