I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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