I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
