i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
