I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
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