I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
