He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
