Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
