apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
