Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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