I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
