So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
