sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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