The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
