apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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