discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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