Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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