I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
