In the future we'll all be gay
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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